ANATOMY OF A TEENAGE CRUSH TYPE THING.

There is no easy way to say why I put perfume on in the morning and practice witty conversations in my head.

For you.
Because it’s not like I’m really that in to you.
Just so you know.
It’s really just a hormones type of thing.
Yes! That’s it! Let’s blame hormones for everything!
• Bad haircuts
• Failing Tests
• That job you didn’t want to take
• That movie you ended up seeing and hated even though Nicole Kidman was in it and she’s usually good…in things.
• Plastic Surgery
• Mosquito Bites
• Hollywood romances
• STD’s
• Stomach Aches
• Missing the bus on occasion
You see my problem is…sometimes I have trouble getting my point across in a way that doesn’t make me sound…
…
…
A little strange.
But I’m smart really (I’ve been told) and clever and funny and

Nice.

And you should know that you and I, we’ve had all sorts of fascinating conversations!
…Inside my head.
Look I know how this is coming across, and I promise you I’m not…”crazy.”
I just want you to talk to me.
For a second.
Because I really think you’re nice…to look at.
And I know we don’t have that much in common…or anything in common.
But I can: MAKE YOU HAPPY.
I mean…I could.
And life’s just too darn short not to act on these kinds of things right?
Sure, it’s high school.
And sure I’ve said maybe 17 words to you since school started.
And sure you keep calling me Lisa…my name’s Beth.
We have a connection.
WE do!
We clicked that one time when we both laughed about that thing we both thought was funny during chemistry that one day we had a sub!
Remember?
Come on.
I see you.
Why can’t you see me?
Don’t look at her.
Look at me.
Look.
I’m not stupid.
I know how I’m coming off.
And I can understand the appeal of long blonde hair and zero percent body fat.
I can understand the appeal of looking like a Barbie doll and acting like everyone else.
I’m not that girl, and I never will be.
But want to know a secret? I never want to be.
Things come too easy to girls who look like that.
And…wait. I’m being mean right?
I don’t mean too.
I’m sure she’s nice.
Nice, nice, nice, nice, really nice.
And I see why I don’t get a second glance.
Because well…I blend.
I fade.
But…just tell me okay?
What’s it going to take?
For you to pause just for a second and say, “Hey. You know you’re not so bad to be around. And by the way you look nice today.”